CD/DVD Instruction Book
You've seen the ads for the Video Professor. They say you can learn anything about a computer with their videos on CD. You only have to know how to insert a CD into your computer. Well, what about those of us who don't know how to insert a CD ? That is what this book is all about ! Buy this book now and it will teach you how to insert any CD into your computer ! This book will also teach you to insert DVD's into either your computer or your home DVD player ! There is also a chapter to teach you how to insert CD's into either your home or car stereo systems. This is the book you have been waiting for ! Don't delay, Order Now !
Only $29.99 - Paperback (26 pages)

Everything Machine
Use this machine to replace your home gym! You can use this as a stair stepper with three different degrees of dificulty, depending on which way you turn it. But wait, there's more ! Use this to do elevated push ups. Put your feet through the convenient holes and use it to do leg lifts. Grasp the edges and do curls to strengthen your arms, or bench presses to work out your chest. But that's not all ! This machine can also double as a step for hard to reach objects, a TV tray holder, a door stop, and dozens of other uses. It comes with a 10 page instructional pamphlet showing you all of it's wonderful uses. You need this ! - Every member of your family needs this ! Buy one for everyone you know, they also make great gifts !
Only $29.99 - Order now and get additional Everything Machines for only $19.99 each.

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mtttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny improetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig, huh?
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846 and elected president in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946 and elected president in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both wives lost children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot in the head, on a Friday.
Lincoln's secretary, Kennedy, warned him not to go to the theatre.
Kennedy's secretary, Lincoln, warned him not to go to Dallas.
Lincoln was shot at 'Ford's' theater, Kennedy was shot in a 'Ford' Lincoln
Both were succeeded by Southerners that were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson was born in 1808, Lyndon Johnson was born in 1908.
Both assassins were known by three names consisting of 15 letters.
John Wilkes Booth was born in 1839, Lee Harvey Oswald was born in 1939.
Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
A month before Lincoln was assassinated he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A month before Kennedy was assassinated he was in Marilyn Monroe.

The rock band Lynyrd Skynyrd took their name from a high school teacher named Leonard Skinner who had suspended several students for having long hair.

Dark Side of The Moon (a Pink Floyd album) stayed on the top 200 Billboard charts for 741 weeks! That is 14 years

"Mr. Mojo Risin" is an anagram for Jim Morrison.

The Beatles held the Top Five spots on the April 4th, 1964 Billboard singles chart. They're the only band that has ever done that.

The TV sitcom Seinfeld was originally named "The Seinfeld Chronicles". The pilot which was broadcast in 1989 also featured a kooky neighbor named Kessler. This character later became known as Kramer.

In the original "Star Wars: A New Hope", Mark Hamill, who played Luke Skywalker, called out the name of actress Carrie Fisher, who played Princess Leia, instead of actually calling out "Leia" in the scene near the end where he gets out of his X-wing after destroying the Death Star. The error was never caught.

In the Disney movie Aladdin, when Aladdin is talking to Jasmine right before taking her on a carpet ride, Rajah attacks him. Aladdin says, 'Get back, kitty' or something like that. Then he whispers to Jasmine telling her to take off her clothes.

Scooby Doo's first real name is Scoobert.

The 1st time the "f-word" was spoken in a movie was by Marianne Faithfull in the 1968 film, "I'll Never Forget Whatshisname." In Brian De Palma's 1984 movie, "Scarface," the word is spoken 206 times - an average of once every 29 seconds.

In 1979, Namco released Pac-Man, the most popular arcade game of all time. Over 300,000 units were sold worldwide. More than 100,000 units are sold in the United States alone. Originally named Puck Man, the game was retitled after executives saw the potential for vandals to scratch out part of the letter P on the game's marquee, which might discourage parents from letting their children play. Pac-Man became the first video game to be popular with both males and females.

acetwothreefourfivesixseveneightninetenjackqueenking Excluding the joker, if you add up the letters in all the names of the cards in the deck (Ace, two, three, four,...,king). the total number of letters is 52, the same as the number of cards in the deck.

There are 52 cards in a standard deck and there are 52 weeks in a year. There are 4 suits in a deck of cards and 4 seasons in a year. If you add the values of all the cards in a deck (jack=11 queen=12, etc.) you get a total of 365 the same as the number of days in a year.

While sitting start rotating your right foot clockwise , then draw the number six in the air with your right hand, - is your foot still moving clockwise ?

If a person counted at the rate of 100 numbers a minute and kept counting for eight hours a day, five days a week, it would take a little over 4 weeks to count to one million and just over 80 years to reach a billion.

An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him.
'So, you've been out drinking again!!'
'How did you know?' he asks.
'The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again.'


Q: How many country singers does it take to replace a light bulb?
A: Two, one two put in the light bulb and another to sing about how much he misses the old one.


Q: Do you know the reason women can't drive?
A: Because the steering wheel isn't on their side of the car...


Q: What do you call a smart blonde??
A: A Golden retriever.


How can you tell a woman is about to say something intelligent?
It begins with the words,"He said."


To do is to be. - Descartes
To be is to do. - Voltaire
Do be do be do. - Frank Sinatra


Q: Do you know why they don't let blondes work for the M&M company?
A: They keep throwing away the W's


What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant


Q: What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dilexic?
A: Someone who's up all night wondering if there is a dog.


Q: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A: About 45 pounds.


A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes.
When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and drives off.
When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test.
The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0.
The cop says, 'How is this possible?'
The guy says,'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.'


Blond and brunette are watching the news. The blond says to the brunette, "I bet you $100 that the man won't jump off the building." Brunette takes the bet, and the man jumps. Brunette says, "No, I can't take your money, I saw this before and I knew he jumped." The blond says, "I saw it before, too, but I didn't think he would jump again."


Q: Why do women fart less than men?
A: Because they won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.


A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right nipple, "Ow, even that hurts", she cried.
The doctor looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and asked, "Are you a natural blonde?" "Why, yes," she said. "I thought so," said the doctor, "You have a broken finger."


How do you tell the Polish one at a cockfight?
He's the one with the duck.

How do you tell the Italian?
He's the one betting on the duck.

How do you tell if the mafia is there?
The duck wins!